micropreemie mommy

if cuteness and love were currency, i’d be a rich, rich, rich woman…

these girls brighten my life in ways i couldn’t have even imagined.  people say it’s a profound thing, being a parent, and you don’t fully understand what it means until it happens to you.  i thought i had everything figured out until they came along and i’m now realizing i’m starting anew in amazing ways.  they are what matters.  my family is what matters.  when the day-to-day shhhtuff gets me in the dumps, all i have to do is hear that ‘mama’ or watch my madeline clap-clap-clap and giggle at cookie monster and it’s all ok… my priorities are in line.  my life is good. 

…and it’s a darn good thing i had girls because it’s all too much fun and i’m fairly sure two little boys would not enjoy pink bows, magenta bolero sweaters and the flash of the digital camera as much as my girls do.  this is what happens when dada goes away camping for the weekend on his ‘man trip.’  leopard-print shorts, fun ponytails and posing for the camera… that’s what!

sheesh, another week’s gone by and no post.  that doesn’t mean nothing’s going on though!  we are busy!

the farrell four has been busy doing the typical family thing…  and that is so nice to say!  the girls continue to adjust to one another and have become a bit better at acting as a team… good for them… not so great for mom and dad, particularly in the ‘mess in the living room’ part.  our house is a bit on the ‘cozy’ side (to put it nicely), so the living room has become somewhat of a play room (i.e. colorful plastic war zone) and picking up the mess each evening is not optional… if i step on another one of those arch crushers at night, i’ll scream!

we have a couple of big, big appointments and procedures ahead.  first, ms. madeline is going to be admitted at childrens at the end of august for the possibility of decanulation (equals ‘possibly taking her trach out!’)  i must admit i am so extremely nervous, but i guess that’s a bit normal for a mom that’s seen so much.  she’s still on a pretty good amount of oxygen, so we may be going to nasal cannula if the trach is removed.  i’m not really looking forward to two nasal cannulas being repeatedly taken off, but it’s going to open us up as a family to a whole lot more options.  day trips may happen…awesome.   i won’t be driving like a completely distracted lady…yay! 

as it is, i finally got fed up a couple of weeks ago and turned her seat around.  i know the rule is kids at least one year and at least twenty pounds… she meets those by a long shot, but the seatswe got are rated up to 35 lbs facing backwards… maybe for a typical kid, but not our girls.  i need to *see* them to make sure they’re ok. 

so, what’s up for the week:  (1) one pt appointment outside the home, (2) one developmental therapy appointment, (3) three other pt appointments, (4) two speech/feeding appointments… and a partridge in a pear tree.  i am *so* thankful we have great therapists and great nurses during the day who see them through those appointments.  i wish i could be there for every single one, but to be honest, the girls melt when i’m there, wanting me to pick them up… i *want* to pick them up, especially madeline, when she cries… it’s almost as if she’s been through much, i can’t stand to hear her crying. (and she is starting to really *know* that.  what a budding little actress she is!)

parting thought… i *need* to get back to regular, regular exercise… not three days on, 12 days off exercise.  i’m pretty annoyed at the way i feel right now (let’s just say i’ve been living with alfredo taste and a broccoli budget) and i have no one to blame but myself… i have to get out there.  i think i need some tough love. 

well… can i just say how thankful i am to be surrounded by such amazing (and eloquent!) people?  we have received so many wonderful thoughts and anecdotes and stories of preemie success since our article ran in the globe yesterday, i will admit it… i am officially overwhelmed (but in a good way).

the writer, bella english, captured our experience so wonderfully and i’m not sure i could have written it any better (wait, let me take that back… i *know* i couldn’t have)

things are good over with the farrell four and are so positive about our girls!

what an unbelievably overwhelming week… i can’t even begin to tell you how strangely emotional it all is… it’s almost so emotional i find myself sort of disconnecting from that part of it and just concentrating on getting through the myriad of appointments and visits and parade of people and phone calls and emails.  we are so flattered and happy… and exhausted. 

i can’t believe she’s been home only a week.  it feels like she’s been here forever.  madeline is adjusting quite well and is just loving being home and rolling around on the living room floor and feeling grass for the first time and sitting in her high chair while we’re eating dinner… just being a family.  molly’s not totally sure she’s in to it yet… she was very excited the firsst few days and now i think she’s sort of wanting madeline to end her visit and get on her way.  after all, molly has been the only child for over a year and now all of a sudden there’s a new person (who happens to be much bigger than her) mouthing her toys and taking up space in mommy and daddy’s arms…

that’s not to say that they don’t love playing with each other.  for the most part they’ve taken to each other quite nicely and i certianly hope that will continue.

i have so much to say, but frankly, i need a personal secretary (and my head screwed on straight to remember all of the appointments going on)… i’ll write more in the coming days, but know that we are happy as larks and settling in so nicely at 91 hill. 

life is the way it ought to be here.

*oh*… and the local paper came to do a story on us… and then the local tv station saw it in the local paper and came to do a story on us… really?  i never considered us to be that different, but clearly we’re a human interest story.  if we can help one family that’s going through the craziness we were last year and let them know everything is going to be ok, then all of this is worth it. 

here’s the link to the local paper article (yet another picutre of me and my big open-mouth… those are usually saved for weddings with an open bar, but clearly we’ve started to diversify) 

Farrell Four in the Patriot Ledger!

Farrell Four on WBZ TV 4